It’s Okay to Say No: Creating Balance in Your Life is Easier Than You Think

It seems like life is always busy, doesn’t it?  Whether we are dealing with getting our kids to school, researching summer camps, going to the gym, taking on new responsibilities at work, or even planning our next vacation – there always seems to be something that needs our attention and time. And we haven’t even gotten to spending time with friends or family!  Or taking time for ourselves and our hobbies. Sometimes it can be overwhelming juggling it all. Which means…. stress and burnout are right around the corner.

Instead, I would like to share with you a new mantra to repeat as many times as needed:  “It’s okay to say no”.

Go ahead and say it with me for practice: “It’s okay to say no.” 

I know you feel guilty when the school asks for your time to help fundraise or your client asks for your help that is outside the scope of the job, or your neighborhood needs a new board member for the HOA. All important stuff.

But here’s the real question: Do you have bandwidth in your life to give away right now? What will happen if you do say yes?  Will that take away the last evening of the week you have to yourself? 

We must learn the vital importance of putting ourselves and our well-being first. Like the airplane example, put your mask on before helping those around you. This is no different.

In order for you to show up fully, you have to take care of yourself first. 

1. To be a good mother.
2. To be a good spouse/partner.
3. To be a good colleague.
4. To be a good neighbor.
5. To be a good leader.
6. To be a good human.

To be able to fully show up as your best in all of the above examples, you need to make the choice to put yourself first. So that guilt that you’re feeling?  Kick it away. You don’t need to feel that way.

Now, I’m not saying we shouldn’t volunteer.  The world needs us to help out.  But you have to be the gatekeeper of your time. 

If this stresses you out to even think about it, start here:

Pull out a calendar and look at your Monday – Friday schedule. Assuming you work on those days (however, many have shifted schedules, so do what makes the most sense here), and carve out your work hours and any commitments you already have in place.  That can be after school activities, exercise classes, or book club. Then look at your weekend schedule.  Is there time already consistently carved out for commitments you’ve already made?

Now step back and ask yourself: How much time is left for me to rest, rejuvenate, and do something I enjoy? And equally important, how much time have you given yourself each night to get a quality sleep? I know…. no one likes to be reminded of that one. But sleep is essential in this discussion, so make sure you are taking that into account.

Balance is what we are driving for here. A balanced life sets you up to thrive, to be happy, to give and make impact, and to experience the joys of life. 

So, make balance a priority for yourself. And say “no” whenever you feel it will take you out of balance. 

Although the concept of balance is easily understood, it took me quite some time to draw a line in the sand for myself. But once I did, I felt like I was getting my life back. And I was. Time is your life. It is that one commodity that is limited. You can’t get it back, so guard it carefully.

Give. Share. Spend your gifts with others. Make impact. And enjoy life joyously doing things you want to do and experience. 

Balance. Sometimes, it is just that simple. Just Say No. 

You can Emerge Positive.

Positively,

Deanne